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Stress is a big issue for caregivers. You feel a lot of emotional and physical stress when you are taking care of a loved one. Our bodies have a response that helps us cope with stress called the fight or flight response. It causes your body to change physically and comes in three stages: Stage 1 - Moving energy - during this stage, your body makes adrenaline, your heartbeat goes up and you breathe faster. Stage 2 - Using energy stores - if you stay in the first stage of stress for a long time, your body starts to release stored sugars and fats. This makes you feel tense, pressured and tired. Some people drink more coffee, smoke more or drink more alcohol to deal with these feelings. You may also feel anxious, have a lowered immune system (and may have more chance of getting sick), think more negatively or have some memory loss. Stage 3 - Draining energy stores - when the body stays stressed for even more time without a break, your body will need more energy than you can make. At this stage, you might not be able to sleep, make poor choices and your personality can change. You may also develop a serious illness. Most people who have constant stress will experience poor health, such as anxiety, depression and/or cardiovascular illness.1,2 We all react differently to stress. The key to understanding stress and controlling your reaction is to know what situations or events give you stress. What is caregiver burnout?Being a caregiver usually makes you feel some stress. However, some things can make it even more likely you will have a burnout. Burnout means that you cannot keep giving the best care to your loved one because you are worn out emotionally or physically. Here are some questions to help you see if you are at risk for caregiver burnout:
If you said yes to a lot of the questions above, you may be at risk of caregiver burnout. It is important to start taking care of yourself. This means making changes and getting some support. Managing your stressHere are things you can do to cope with stress: List what makes you stressedList the main things (stressors) in your life that give you stress, and then start doing something about them. It will take time for you to recognize and point to the exact sources of stress in your life. You might not be able to remove all your stressors, but you are in control of how you react to them. Do not try to control the things that you cannot control (your loved one's condition, the doctor's bedside manner). You do not have to be perfect: be kind to yourself and others around you, and remind yourself that no one is perfect. Do your best. Ask for and accept help: recognize when you need help and let yourself accept it. Feeling exhausted and stressed is bad for your physical and mental health. This does not help you or your loved one. You need to know when you are at your limit and where to go for help. Often, people will not offer help because they do not know what type of help you need or if you need help at all. Be specific and positive when asking for help; tell people what you need. Take some time for you!A way to help lower your stress and anxiety is to take care of your physical health. Exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet and get enough sleep! Watch the Home Care - Caregivers' Experiences from the Health Council of Canada. It will show you how other caregivers feel and shows different views of life as a caregiver. The views expressed in the video are those of the participants, and not necessarily those of Ottawa Public Health. Taking care of yourselfHere are things you can start doing now to help you take care of yourself. Eat WellYou have to eat to get the energy you need to cope with stress. Your body will not have the energy it needs if you are not eating healthy foods. It is important to eat the recommended daily servings of vegetables and fruits, meat and dairy, as well as avoid foods like sweets, caffeine and alcohol. SleepWorrying at night can interrupt your sleep and if you do not sleep well, you will feel tired and not be able to handle your day-to-day stress. Tips
Be ActiveYour heart, lungs and bones are all healthier if you enjoy regular physical activity. Exercise also makes your mind happy. Exercise makes the body release hormones called endorphins that improve your mood and make you feel good. Start off slowly...Exercising 30 minutes a day, like doing yard work or going for a walk can make a difference in how your body and mind feel. YogaThere are many different forms of yoga, but most western practitioners focus on physical postures, breathing exercises and meditation. Check for yoga classes in your community, local recreation centres and telephone directories. Deep breathingSimple deep breathing is an easy but important technique that can help you relax. Breathe in slowly through your nose to fill chest with air; then breathe out slowly through your mouth. Make your breath out twice as long as your breath in. Do this every day and use it whenever you feel stressed. MeditationMeditation allows you to be in control of your thoughts. It lets you calm your mind and help you think more clearly. Meditate every day to feel the benefits. Check your local telephone and community resources directories for classes on meditation. VisualizationVisualization is using your mind to move yourself from a stressful place to one that allows you to feel peace. You can do it anywhere and at any time. Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and picture yourself in a place that makes you feel peaceful and calm. This space will be your own - you might picture yourself in a field full of spring flowers, lying on a sunny beach or watching the waves of the ocean. Pay careful attention to the sights, sounds and smells in your vision. How do they make you feel? Hold the vision for as long as you need to. MassageScience has proven that touch reduces stress and anxiety. A massage through touch or other techniques helps the body relieve stress, tension and pain. It is important to remember massage is a therapy and there are many different types of massage. Massage therapists have a lot of training. Check to make sure your massage therapist is a registered massage therapist (R.M.T.) registered with the proper governing body. Take time for yourselfIt is important to take time for yourself during times of extreme stress and anxiety. Ali, a caregiver to his adult son with Down's syndrome says: "I take advantage of the regularly scheduled times where I can have some respite care. During this time I do things that I enjoy, things that make me feel good." It might be something as simple as reading a book, visiting an art gallery, taking a walk, playing your favourite sport or taking up that new hobby you have always wanted to try. Whatever the activity, the point is to remember to stay involved in your life. Express yourself and do something you enjoy! Visit your local public library and take advantage of the many books, audio books, and programs. Ottawa Public Library Humour and laughterHumour and laughter are the body's natural way to prevent stress. Use them to help improve the function of your mind, body and spirit. Research shows that being able to laugh at a situation gives you a feeling of power and perspective. Laughter and humour help you to feel positive and hopeful. Ideas to laugh and relieve stress:
Take care of yourself! The more time and energy you put into taking care of yourself, the more you will be able to care for those around you who need your time and assistance. Regular medicalsIt is important that you keep regular contact with your family health care provider. Regular checkups and physicals help to keep your mind and body healthy. Give us your feedbackPlease share your comments or concerns on this section of the Guide. Your comments are important to us. We appreciate and thank you for taking the time to complete this short Feedback Survey. If at any time, you wish to speak with a nurse at Ottawa Public Health please call 613-580-6744 TTY/ATS: 613-580-9656 or email us at healthsante@ottawa.ca. References
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Physical limitationsYou may have some health problems that make it harder to be a caregiver. For example, if you have heart disease, you might not be able to lift or move your loved one. The stress of caregiving can also affect your health. The physical part of caregiving can make a breathing problem worse, and if you have any trouble with your bones and joints, you might not be able to care for another at all. If you cannot hear or see very well, you may also need help with caregiving. There could be a risk of danger to your loved one if you miss hearing a health care provider's instructions, or if you cannot hear the person call out for your help. When you cannot see well, you may be more likely to make mistakes with medications. Talk to a health care provider about your health. Ask them how it can affect you being able to take the best care of your loved one. Signs you may need help
The stress of your added responsibilities as a caregiver and the feelings that go along with it can be very hard for you. You are more likely to get sick if you don't take care of your body and emotional well-being; and you are less able to provide good care. This does not mean that you are a bad caregiver; it just means that you have reached your limits. Here are some reasons why caregivers do not ask for help:
Think about which reasons might be stopping you from getting help. If you notice a big change in your mental or physical health, find help as soon as you can. You should feel proud of what you are able to do and realize that you have a right to continue to make a meaningful life for yourself. You need to know that it is okay to ask for help. It is part of providing the best care possible. Many caregivers share this advice: Do not be afraid to ask for the help you need! A final check
What type of help do you need?Figure out what type of help you or your loved one need. Get family and friends together to support your decision. People who are not directly involved in a person's care might not think you need help because they are not with you and your loved one every day and don`t know about the situation. Give them regular updates and try to include them in any decisions you want to make. What do you need help with? For example:
Think about what you can and cannot do. Then think about how often you need help. Is it every day, once a week or in the evenings? During the day when you are at work? Now you will have to think about how to pay for support services. Government funded programs may cover some types of assistance, and other types of assistance may be covered by private insurance. However, you or your loved one will have to pay for services that are not covered. Family, friends and neighbours:The people closest to you and your situation are a possible source of help that will not cost money. Ask for help and be specific. When many people are helping, any one person might only need to offer a small amount of time. Mika, along with a network of other friends and neighbours, offered support to a woman with breast cancer and her husband. Everyone took turns taking care of the couple's children so that they could have some time alone together. Even though meetings and discussions with family and friends are helpful, make sure to respect everyone's opinions and limits. Even family or friends who live far away from your loved one can help. People can help by:
A neighbour may be able to help with shovelling snow or can be on standby for your loved one in case of an emergency. Think about the skills everyone has and take advantage of their strengths. Support groups:People who are dealing with similar problems can join a support group. Members of a support group share their feelings. They also talk about what they are going through in a safe and accepting environment. You can find out about community resources, get tips on caregiving and just feel better about your situation by being with people who understand what you are going through. There are support groups for caregivers or ones that focus on a specific illness. Make sure the support group is right for you by asking yourself:
Your faith community might have a support network you can join. You can also get help from a professional counsellor to manage conflict, stress, grief, anger and other feelings. To find out about groups in your area, talk to your health care provider. You can contact groups focused on particular illnesses and conditions. You can also look in local community listings and general phone books like the Yellow Pages to find other sources of support (try looking under headings such as Home Health Care Services, Supplies, Charitable, and Not-for-Profit Organizations). Your province or territory may have an association for caregivers and caregiver support. Try searching for links on your Ministry of Health's website, on Health Canada website. You can also call your local community health centre or the Ottawa Public Health information line at 613-580-6744. See Resources and Support Services list at the end of this section for more information about these organizations Medical help:Sometimes no matter what you do, you still feel stressed or sad. If you continue to feel this way, it is important that you speak to a health care provider. You can start with your primary care team such as your family doctor or contact a service such as the Canadian Mental Health Association who can help you find some support. Click here to find your local CMHA. Click here for the Ottawa CMHA. Tips:
Give us your feedbackPlease share your comments or concerns on this section of the Guide. Your comments are important to us. We appreciate and thank you for taking the time to complete this short Feedback Survey. If at any time, you wish to speak with a nurse at Ottawa Public Health please call 613-580-6744 TTY/ATS: 613-580-9656 or email us at healthsante@ottawa.ca. |
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Taking Care of Yourself |
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Taking care of someone else can be rewarding and stressful. You learn new skills and build stronger relationships as a caregiver. But the stress you might feel can affect your health. It is normal to feel many different emotions as a caregiver1. Research has shown that caregivers have higher levels of depression and anxiety than other people do.2 This section talks about how to take care of you as the caregiver. Often caregivers do not think of themselves. You might not use all the information in this guide, but it is still helpful to read it. Research tells us that caregivers' risk 'burnout' from too many demands and too little time to take care of themselves.3 The most important thing to remember as a caregiver is to take care of you. Caregivers tend to take more medications and have higher levels of stress than others. They also may not take proper care of themselves such as not going to the doctor, not being physically active, etc.3 Tips
Caregiver's Bill of RightsOften, the feelings and demands of the caregiver role mean you might not have time for yourself. Use these rights to remind you to take care of yourself. Read them daily. I have the right to:
Feelings about CaregivingAs a caregiver, you may be in sensitive situations that cause both positive and negative feelings - this is normal. Feel your own emotions even if they are negative feelings. Be aware of and accept the feelings you have and you will then be able to deal with them. Long-term caregiver Maureen shares her thoughts: "I think what I would have benefited from early on is knowing that it is okay to get angry about additional responsibilities. It is not necessarily okay to display your anger in certain ways. And it is okay to say no." Read some of the common emotions that caregivers feel. Do you have these feelings? Positive feelingsCaring for a person can be a wonderful and positive experience. It can be full of laughter and close moments. You may get a lot of satisfaction from being able to help your loved one when they need you most. The positive feelings you have about being a caregiver depend on your own situation. Personal growthYou may feel like you have grown personally because you learned to be more patient to give the best care. Greater appreciation for health and well-beingCaring for someone who is very ill can change the way you look at life and death. This may lead to a new understanding or meaning of life, change what you see as important or change your personal goals. Strengthened relationshipsOften the caregiving role allows you to become much closer, physically and emotionally, to the person you are caring for and this will make you feel appreciated.4,6 Negative feelings about caregivingCaregivers face difficult situations and you might have negative feelings. You might try to ignore them by not admitting or working through them. You may tell yourself that you should not feel a certain way or ignore your feelings. For example, to feel worthy and useful, it might be important for you to take care of your parents when they need help. If you are unable to do this, you might feel unworthy and this can lead to guilt or anger. Try to identify the real cause of your feelings to be able to learn how to deal with these feelings. Here are some negative feelings caregivers can feel: AnxietyFeeling unsure about the future can cause you to feel anxious. It can happen when you worry that something bad will happen. For example, you may feel anxious because you do not have enough resources to cope with your current situation. You may feel the situation will not get better and might actually get worse. FearYou experience fear when you feel threatened. The responsibilities of caregiving or doing something wrong might scare you. Learn more about your loved one's illness or disability; visit the different sections in this guide to get tips on how to care for your loved one. You can also ask a health care provider for advice. GuiltYou may be in situations that will cause you to feel guilt. You may feel guilty because:
Frustration, resentment and angerThese feelings often go together. You may be frustrated because you cannot find enough time for yourself; this may lead to resentment and then to anger. Hurt feelings and isolationThere may be days when you feel that no one appreciates what you are doing. Your loved one may actually be angry with you. It may be hard not to feel hurt by these moments, or to feel like you are alone. The responsibilities of caregiving may mean you are not able to do things you like as often; this can lead to feelings of isolation. There are services that can help you to take time for yourself. You deserve a break. GriefGrieving is the process of adjusting to a loss. This can be coping with death or loss of health from a disability or illness. Grief can make you feel many things you may not understand. For example, you might feel sad, angry, lonely, anxious and frustrated all at the same time. As a caregiver, you may feel grief at different times during the caregiving process. DepressionDepression is common among caregivers. It is three times higher than in other people. This could be due to the stress of taking care of someone else, and the isolation, fatigue and frustration.4 Depression causes you to stop getting pleasure from your life or the activities you used to enjoy. When you are depressed, you may feel sad, anxious, empty, guilty, hopeless and worthless. If you say yes to any of the signs and symptoms of depression below, talk to your doctor.
Speak to your health care provider about what is happening or see Recognizing when you need help found later in this section. Give us your feedbackPlease share your comments or concerns on this section of the Guide. Your comments are important to us. We appreciate and thank you for taking the time to complete this short Feedback Survey. If at any time, you wish to speak with a nurse at Ottawa Public Health please call 613-580-6744 TTY/ATS: 613-580-9656 or email us at healthsante@ottawa.ca. References
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Give us your feedback |
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Please share your comments or concerns on this section of the Guide. Your comments are important to us. We appreciate and thank you for taking the time to complete this short survey Feedback Survey. If at any time, you wish to speak with a nurse at Ottawa Public Health please call 613-580-6744 TTY/ATS: 613-580-9656 or email us at healthsante@ottawa.ca. |
MunicipalThe Dementia Society of Ottawa and Renfrew County: Individual and group support by trained dementia coaches for people living with dementia, and for their caregivers, families and the general public. FREE brain health and dementia education, social and recreational activities. Visit DementiaHelp.ca or call 613.523.4004 Champlain Community Care Access Centre: an in-home service and placement services including respite care. 613-745-5525 Ottawa Public Health: Caregiver Support: free "Caring for a Senior?" Resource Guide, phone and email support to caregivers from nurses. The Regional Geriatric Program of Eastern Ontario: a network of specialized geriatric services, from hospital to home. 613-761-4458 Western Ottawa Community Resource Centre: general caregiver support groups and support groups for caregivers of individuals with dementia related disorders. 613-591-3686 Short stays and overnight respite careOttawa West Community Support: 613-728-6016 Perley Rideau: 613-526-7170, extension 8808 St. Patrick's Home: 613-731-4660 The Guest House: A Home Away from Home: 613-247-1664 ProvincialCare-Ring Voice Network: a free, bilingual and confidential web program that connects caregivers and families to information and support with teleconferencing. 514-488-3673, extension 1556 Family Caregivers' Support Network: a peer support telephone line for caregivers of older adults, which operates Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 1 pm to 4 pm: 1-888-283-8806 Seniors' day programs: For a list of adult day programs, please see Adult Day program association Saint Elizabeth: Caring for Family: information, support and community resources on being a family caregiver - and caring for yourself. NationalThe Dementia Society of Ottawa and Renfrew County: Individual and group support by trained dementia coaches for people living with dementia, and for their caregivers, families and the general public. FREE brain health and dementia education, social and recreational activities. Visit DementiaHelp.ca or call 613.523.4004 Canada Cares: is a not-for-profit organization whose vision is to create a sense of community for family and professional caregivers by increasing awareness, providing encouragement and showing appreciation. Canadian Caregiver Coalition: a national body representing and promoting the voice, needs and interests of family caregivers with all levels of government, and the community through: advocacy, leadership, research, education, information, communication and resource development. Canadian Mental Health Association: promotes the mental health of all and supports the resilience and recovery of people experiencing mental illness, through advocacy, education, research and service. Canadian Mental Health Association - Coping with Stress Caring for Caregivers Resource Centre: search for caregiver support and support programs by province or territory Health Canada - Provincial/Territorial Ministries of Health Health Council of Canada - Seniors in need, caregivers in distress: What are homecare priorities for seniors in Canada? By Us for Us Guides: created by a group of talented and passionate persons with dementia and/or partners in care. |
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